Audrey Hobert

I like the touch of people.rtf

“I like to touch people” was the third song I wrote. It was April 2024. I was home alone on a Friday night (classic) watching the Apple TV Steve Martin documentary “STEVE!”

I had grown up with my dad always being like “Steve Martin is the truth” but had never watched his life played out before me in an apple tv produced documentary.

I felt very electrically inspired by him and his life story. When Steve just decided to be himself on stage is when everything fell into place for him.

I had recently purchased a banjo guitar on Amazon and Steve was known in part for his banjo skills.

I was writing a one woman show at this time. Still, I had not yet had the idea to write my own music for myself and release it. When I finished the documentary, I pulled out my banjo guitar and decided to write a song that I could open my one woman show with. The first verse came to me immediately. The song was very fast and easy to write.

It was always intended to be the opening of something. I love that it opens my album, essentially still my one woman show.

And it’s true, I do like to touch people. It’s my one greatest passion- more than dance or singing or writing. I love people more than I love anything. The feeling of impacting someone gets me so high.

I like to touch people felt like the best opener I could have for my album, it’s the whole point of why I’m doing what I’m doing. The idea that one of my songs resonates so deeply with somebody that they feel okay to be in their skin and free to be themselves.

Sue me.rtf

Sue me I wanna be wanted LOL. This song was the first that I made with Ricky Gourmet. It was June, we had just decided to work together on what I was referring to as an “EP.”

Wanna know something? The whole genesis of this album came from the Nickelodeon show I was writing for getting cancelled, signing a publishing deal because of my work with Gracie, and getting launched into the world of SESSIONS A session is when a songwriter (sometimes several), a producer, and an artist all put their heads together to make musical magic. The kind of sessions I was in is referred to in the industry as “speed dating.” Meeting a bunch of people, seeing who you connect with, etc. From there, you’d eventually find who you like and just stick to them to make a whole project for someone. Sometimes you speed date forever as a writer.

I did not like speed dating sessions. I don’t really know if any songwriter does??? Or perhaps I’m unique (wouldn’t be surprised.) I did not feel my talent was being best served writing for people I was meeting that day. I knew it immediately when I started, but I chose not to throw a fit right away and instead took most of the sessions that came my way for about four months. I thought, there’s something to learn from this. And this is technically my job. Not even technically.

It was April 2024 when I finally came clean and told my publisher and A&R’s at Universal that I wanted to do my own project. I had written a few songs by myself at that point and really found I loved it, and that I did my best work alone. Being alone and writing allowed me to take as long as I wanted to finish a song, and also I could just be silent and in my own head instead of hyper-aware that someone else was in the room and they have a dinner at 6. No one at Universal fought me, they thought it was a good idea and said I should go for it.

I had met Ricky a few times at industry events and sessions. I found him to be a sparkling personality- very funny, unabashed, good taste in music & clothes. At the beginning of May 2024, we did our first session just the two of us. We produced out “I like to touch people.” I left that night feeling amazing- I had just spent the day with a cool person and I loved the way the song sounded.

I’ll get to the rest of the story later when I talk about a different track.

Ricky and I officially started working together in June, a month after our first session. Sue me was the first instrumental we made together. I was obsessed with it. Like obsessed obsessed, couldn’t believe it was mine.

When Ricky and I make a beat, I take it home and write the song and then bring it back to him and we finish producing it out once the bulk of the lyrics are written.

I was jonesing for a big sounding pop song. I had a recent experience to write about. I wrote Sue me a lot on this specific chair in my bedroom, and a lot at this cafe called Bravo Toast in Silverlake. I would often get to the east side early and Ricky was usually in hot yoga so I’d wait for him to be done at Bravo Toast. I wrote the whole bridge at Bravo Toast. I had the “dog died” line in Ricky’s apartment.

Fun fact: Ricky has a few lines on the album, one of them being “fucking your ex is iconic.” Yes Ricky wrote that. I screamed when he said it, I thought it was so brilliant. I remember we were in his kitchen and I was like STFU. That line comes at the very end and it very plainly encapsulates the entire song. It’s telling you what the song is about at the very end of it. I just loved that. Ugh it makes me so happy to think about.

From the second we made it, I knew it would be the first song I put out.

Drive.rtf

So Drive is the song I listen to most. I relate to Charli xcx in the way where she wants to listen to her her her her her her. I listen to my own music a lot. And the song that takes the cake? My most streamed? Drive. It is my underrated fav. I say underrated because no one thought it should be a single except me. C’est la vie, I think it’s gonna pop off. Call me nuts.

Ricky and I would sometimes have days where we’d just make beats, and usually the third beat we’d make would be the winner. “The charm” as they say. Drive was the third beat in a day. It was August 12, 2024.

I usually will try and top-line when we’re in the stu (Ricky’s apartment) and sometimes something sticks (but not always). On this day I kept singing “put it in drive again.” I didn’t know what that meant. I did not know why I was saying put it in drive again. But Ricky thought it was cool.

I’ll be honest I was pissed when I wrote Drive. If I’m feeling revved up to write a song, I will get in the car after working with Ricky and put on the instrumental and start writing in the car on my drive home.

I was up until 2 in the morning writing Drive the day we made the beat. I had a fire under my ass because I was pissed about a boy.

I like that this song is vignette-y. I imagine the music video beginning with me floating through space, then when the song begins, I get dropped down at the speed of light into a dingy boy living room. Each chorus I float through the atmosphere and each verse I get dropped into the setting. That’s how it felt around this time in the summer. I was going to parties and feeling upset about this guy. I was always underdressed at the function. All I did was work. I was surrounded by music industry people and partying with them. I had a debilitating crush. And every time he disappointed me, hanging out at his place, hanging out at a party, I’d just get in my car and put it in drive again.

Fun fact: when I vocally re-recorded my whole album (Audrey’s version) I had to do Drive twice. Ricky and I decided to slow down the tempo by 3 BPM halfway through my month of re-recording. Piece (brilliant vocal engineer) tried to slow it down with my faster vocal already in place, but the ENTIRETY of the swag of this song is in the rhythm of my delivery. It was the first and last song I re-recorded.

Vocally re-recording every song on the album was INTENSE for me and frankly very hard. I compare it to the break-room in the Apple TV show “Severance.” Singing every line until I meant it. Doing Drive twice was truly the nail in the coffin but then I was done, and I knew that I had given it everything.

Wet hair.rtf

Wet Hair is the first song I ever wrote and finished by myself. I wrote the first verse in one fell swoop just by writing out exactly what was happening to me at that moment. I sang it to a melody and boom bitch there it was. I wrote the whole first part to the end of the chorus over the course of a few evenings. Mind you, this was around the time where I was just writing for shits & gigs, no intention of being an artist.

I remember singing “sad old me showed up w/ wet hair like it didn’t matter and I didn’t care” naturally after finishing the song up to that point, but I thought it was so dumb and didn’t want to include it. I R’d my B (racked my brain) over what should come after the chorus instead of that part over the course of several weeks, but always came back to that post-chorus. I figured at a certain point it should just be in the song.

I wrote the whole first part of Wet Hair in December of 2023, as well as the bridge. That bridge came to me very quickly. I do not often write songs out of order, but I find a bridge to be much easier to write than a second verse. Second verses are spawn of the Dev to me. I didn’t finish the whole song until April, when I decided I loved writing songs by myself.

I have an interesting relationship with this song, complicated you might even say. I personally don’t think it’s my strongest writing, but everyone who has heard the album LOVES this one. When I was meeting record labels, EVERYONE talked about Wet Hair. I was always like literally why???????????? I felt I got better at writing songs with each one I wrote, the structure of them, the storytelling. Wet Hair was small potatoes to me.

I don’t want to be someone who actually fucking hates any of their songs, especially the popular ones. I have ultimately decided that the magic of Wet Hair is in fact that it was the first one I wrote alone. No preconceived anything, just a woman and a pen and a guitar and an ex to write about.

Bowling alley.rtf

So bowling alley is my legit song I’m most proud of. As I was writing it I couldn’t believe how lucky I felt. The subject matter had been in my soul my whole life it felt.

You know that feeling when someone is like “come to my party, it’s on Saturday at 8” and you’re like oh yeah totally but then the day arrives and you’re like, I’m going to look like a fool showing up at this thing? Picking out an outfit? Do I wear make up or go bare? Who’s gonna be there?

I roll up to parties by myself A LOT. It never feels good but it’s important to know how to do. I don’t know why I feel like people are gonna think I’m weird for going to their party, like I should just have something better to do or something. But this is a true story about me.

I wrote bowling alley in an attempt to write a song about being the naked neighbor, because I am. I was really into the idea of a song being like “I am the naked neighbor and I _______.” I was trying to write it one day and it sounded not good. I knew that it wasn’t the song. I switched my capo and started strumming the bowling alley chords and sang the first line right then and there. I really loved the way it felt. I didn’t know what I was writing about. I’d say the whole time, I was like, oooooo where is this gonna go? When the naked neighbor line came to me I was like OMG yay I’m writing the naked neighbor song!

It all felt natural to me this whole song. I was just like yeah duh. This is true for me. This is a true story, despite it being entirely fictitious- as in this exact situation did not happen to me (I haven’t been to a bowling alley party in years.) I love bowling alleys. Specifically the ones that are dark with LED lights and play music videos on big screens. I have always loved those kinds of bowling alleys since I was a kid. It’s actually kind of a sexy place, a dimly lit LED light bowling alley playing pop hits super loud.

I’m not gonna lie I felt so good about myself when I finished this song. The high of finishing a song you love is a drug that doesn’t exist, a thing money cannot buy. I just felt vindicated, like I had just hit the nail on the head of my own life.

The music video was something that was in my head from the second I wrote it. When I’m coming up with a music video, I don’t like to write the story of the video completely on the nose of the story of the song. But shit, this music video wrote itself. The song is a movie, a pilot episode, a short film. Lest we forget I love movies and TV like a motherfucker. Lest we forget I have a BFA in “dramatic writing.” To get to make this video was the dream come true of my life. I wrote my cousins and my sister Ella into it from the jump. When I think about the part of the video where Ella and I skip and dance in the parking lot, I cry. I’m welling up right now.

Thirst trap.rtf

Well well well. Thirst Trap. I wrote this song on the guitar at home in the middle of summer 2024. I was realizing I had feelings for this guy that were nOT platonic. (Thirst Trap, Drive and Shooting star are a trilogy of songs about the same person.)

Ricky and I were on a two week break from working. He had another project he needed to go be apart of. It was go go go with him for about a month and then suddenly- FULL HARD STOP. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was just walking on the beach, tanning on the roof, smoking weed during the day and thinking about this dude. I was INCREDIBLY frustrated with myself. I felt I had become boring and vacant and uninteresting.

It got me thinking about the essence of having a crush. My whole life, I have not particularly enjoyed the feeling of a crush and it’s what Thirst Trap is about. When I’m not obsessed with someone, I think about a million things in a day. When I read a book and I DON’T have a crush, it has my full attention. When I read a book and I DO have a crush, I wish my crush could see me reading a book and think I’m so cool for it. When I watch movies and I’m crush-less, it’s the thing I’m living for. When I do ANYTHING and I have a crush, I just wish I was with my crush instead.

It makes me feel flat out boring. Instead of having interesting thoughts, I am thinking about one person. And so then why would he want to be with me then??? If all I think about is him??? It’s that thing- when you like someone so much and can’t help yourself, and they can tell you like them SO MUCH and they get turned off. It’s why we play it cool in this life. But you can’t really play it cool to yourself privately. You just have your thoughts.

I felt dull, just thinking about this dude all day stoned trying to catch a tan in the summer of 2024. I felt that a Thirst Trap was a good metaphor for this thing. It’s a little ironic because I’m really not much of a selfie-taker. I don’t really take thirst traps in the mirror in my room but shit I felt like I was doing the psychological version of that.

I actually didn’t care too much for Thirst Trap when I wrote it, so much so that I didn’t finish it for months. But this ended up being a good thing, because by the time I finished this song I had fully realized my crush was not gonna go anywhere (his ass didn’t like me back) and I think the perspective helped wrap up the song in a nice way.

Fun fact: the song originally ended on the down note, right before the Sax Solo comes in. I remember taking the song home and feeling like the end wasn’t right. I went back to Ricky and said I think the song needs to come back full force and end on a high. He looked at me and without a moment of pause said, “SAX SOLO???????”

Chateau.rtf

Chateau was the second song I wrote by myself. I wrote it admittedly after attending a 2024 Grammy’s afterparty. Full disclosure, I was on mushrooms at this party. A micro-dose, but still. Kids if you’re reading this, drugs are not cool. I don’t do drugs on the regular. I’m pretty straight edge. I would never do a drug that might put my life in jeopardy or something that could permanently F up my brain chemistry. I’m not trying to preach but I feel it’s my duty if you are a young person and you’re reading this. Drugs aren’t cool. Being yourself is cool. Okay, speech over.

I have had this experience a lot in my young life. I am often at these industry parties where no one knows me and everyones looking over their shoulder to try and spot the famous people. I have felt invisible at these things historically. By the way, you can also feel invisible at a party with a bunch of people you know. It happens. In the case of this song, it’s about being at a party with a lot of famous people and sort of being treated like you’re not a person.

I will say in hindsight, I do feel like these parties have challenged me to find self-worth from within. They have made me stronger. I could not lead a life where the way someone made me feel at a party is the way I see myself, or feel about myself. Not worth it. And not true.

At this particular Grammy’s afterparty I remember feeling like the whole to-do was ridiculous. Sometimes I’ll have a good time at these things despite feeling like I’m peasant status, but this time I was like bruh. Get me out.

Happy for all you winners but no one is giving me respect. Lest we forget, I have a fabulous sense of self-worth and think everyone should care about me even though I’m not an “artist” or “actress.” And now I’m an artist LOL and I’m still this same girl trust. That history doesn’t just evaporate when you put out your debut single “Sue me.” When I told Ricky I wanted the song to include HEAVY electric guitars, he did a little skip like a little boy. Ricky is a magical guitarist. To get to watch him record those electric guitars was a real joy for me. Pure fun.

Fun fact: I didn’t want to put this song on the album but my mom made me.

Sex and the City.rtf

Arguably the most important song of my life to me. Sex and the city was the fourth song I wrote. It was May 2024. I had done my first session with Ricky and knew that I was going to do my own project as an artist.

My brother Malcolm had an apartment in the east village and was on tour. I didn’t have any sessions lined up and had not spent time in the city since I was in college (and tragically sent home in the middle of my junior year due to COVID.) There was a free place to stay in the area where I spent my college years. I thought, I’m gonna go to New York for a week and see theater and walk around. I may even write a song there! Who knows.

Gracie had been watching the show sex and the city. We were having dinner in the city one night with our friend Arianna, sitting at the bar at an oyster restaurant. Gracie saw someone sitting at the other end of this bar and said he was cute. Arianna and I were like girllll go talk to him. Gracie was like, NOOOOOO omg WHAT???? Right, I said. Because this isn’t sex and the city.

Later that night we went to a party and I ran into this guy who I knew. I ended up hanging out with him late into the night. Nothing happened (per usual). I did not even really want anything to happen, but it brought up this feeling for me which is…. Why DIDN’T something happen? Perhaps it’s because this isn’t sex and the city.

The day after, I started writing the song. Malcolm had this glorious guitar in his apartment, and again, I was in the city for no particular reason. The second I started writing this song it became my entire life. It was the purpose of my trip.

I’d wake up and go on a walk, then arrive home and start writing. I would go for as many hours as I could, take a break, go on a walk, then get back to it until I went to sleep. It took me the entire week to write. It was the first time I threw my WHOLE BACK into a song. I wrote a million different lines and could feel immediately when one was right. I pushed through. Exhausted and at times frustrated but also set ablaze.

This song is fiction in the way that Bowling alley is. It’s just a story based on this true true true feeling. I grew up watching so much TV and thinking that my life would be like a TV show. Sometimes, life is like a TV show btw. But life is not a TV show really.

When I finished writing this song it was the happiest day of my life. I knew I had no choice but to do this professionally. I did not have a choice. I was going to be a singer-songwriter. This song was the true beginning of my mystical, magical journey of writing Who’s The Clown.

The morning after I finished Sex and the city, I was woken up at 6 A.M. to the title and cover of the album in my head. I remember thinking it was kind of strange, but it’s never changed.

This was also the real beginning of my collaboration with Ricky. When I finished this song, I wanted nothing more than to show it to him. I was going to ask him to do a project with me.

I arrived back in LA and had a random session already booked with him and another producer. Afterwards, him and I went to dinner and I proposed the idea of a project made fully by the two of us. He said yes. HE SAID YES!!!!!!

Shooting star.rtf

Fun fact: the title of the instrumental for this song when Ricky and I first made it was called “SHUT UR MOUTH.” I was pissed again, but there was this glimmer of acceptance.

The beat for shooting star was another case of third times the charm day of beats. Ricky started playing the lead synth bass line and I was like…. Now this evokes something in me.

The shine was wearing off the apple of my summer crush. I was getting it now, it wasn’t going to happen. No matter how much we connected, no matter how right it felt, he wasn’t going to make a move and neither was I.

After Ricky and I made this beat, I got in the car to drive home and started singing “when I’m drunk at the club I wanna be felt up.” I loved it as an opening line. It felt gross and empowering. And true. I think universally true. If you haven’t caught on by now, I’m a self assured person, but cripplingly shy when it comes to boys and love. But if you get 3 drinks in me and put me in a dark room with a beat, I want you to touch me. I don’t want to have to make eyes at you, I just want you to do it.

I was actually feeling in my power knowing that I wasn’t going to be chosen by this guy. He was actively choosing other girls, but I did not feel like they were cooler than me and that was a relief. Also rude, but I’m just being straight up. I saw his pursuit of other women as him avoiding his feelings for me, but as the chorus indicates, it was likely just that he was just not that into me.

I was actually peeing on the toilet when I came up with the line “girl that’s not a shooting star.” I wiped as fast as I could and ran to my notebook. I had written everything up to that point and needed to give it a visual metaphor.

I fill in the gaps, and I give it an arc, then I tie it all up and drop kick it like it’s a shot in the dark. Girl, that’s not a shooting star. Your fabrication of this person and your “relationship” is not something to wish upon. The truth is the truth and he don’t like you hoe.

Cause he’s perfect, he treats me like shit but I promise you baby it’s worth it, cause it hurts me, and I’d rather be hurt when I’m drunk at the club on a Thursday. Bitch that’s just true for me. Being drunk and out on the town is much more interesting when you’re in shambles over someone. Oh but what if he texts! What if he’s here and I just haven’t seen him yet! Oh but he’s probably with that other girl and my life sucks. Drink up baby.

This song took me a long time to write. Many days and nights of trying and trying and trying until it felt fabulous.

This is Ricky’s proclaimed favorite song on the album.

Don't go back to his ass.rtf

phoebe.rtf

My 4 minute long song. I couldn’t believe my ears and eyes when I realized this song is 4 minutes long. Who, me?

This song is special to me. One of the last songs I wrote for the album.

I was writing and making music for about 3 months before I started to get my door knocked on by record labels.

I was not expecting it. When Ricky and I began this process, I fully intended and expected to release it independently, pay for my own music videos, and do it all myself. Ricky also did not think he would ever be paid for this. Putting out this project independently was also where the album cover art idea came from- I knew that as a new artist I would have to grab peoples attention. I didn’t want to attempt to do that with my gorgeous face and perfect body, so I thought, what’s more powerful than scaring someone? What’s more attention-grabbing than that?

So 3 months into the making of this album, I met almost every record label and was in around 2-3 meetings a day and also working with Ricky 5 days a week. I felt like I was in a Disney Channel Original. What the fuck? One second I’m getting walked into at a Grammy’s afterparty because someone thinks I’m a ghost, and the next I’m being courted within an inch of my life by the music industries best and brightest?? Mi vida es una película como….

I loved taking these music meetings and talking about the songs I was writing. I was filled with passion and fervor and drive and I wanted it. I felt the same amount of lucky as I did deserving of it. Not a shred of imposter syndrome coursing through me. I was being shown a glimpse into the future- a world where I could have a team to work alongside with on all of this. Beyond me. But also… not.

I started writing Phoebe after I took my very first business trip to NYC. I was flown out and put up and taken to dinner and yes literally felt that Disney Channel Original feeling. When I arrived home from my trip, I sort of crashed back down to earth. I had spent the last 3 or so months manically writing and was wondering how much gas I had left in da tank.

It was the night after I got home from my fancy trip. I was sitting on my couch, alone in my house and very suddenly, without really realizing it, I was walking upstairs and sitting down at my desk with my guitar. I wrote the first part of Phoebe through the first chorus then and there.

I remember feeling conflicted about the fucked up face line. I called my parents and asked what they thought. My dad was like I DON’T LIKE THAT LINE. My mom didn’t feel as strongly yes or no. I called my sister Ella and played it for her and watched her make a face when I sang it. I slept on it, tried other words other than “fucked up” but ultimately just thought- I’ve actually said that to myself before. I have a fucked up face. The most classically beautiful person in the world has said that to themselves before. May as well just say it!!

I did not finish this song for a few months. I tried and tried and tried and tried and didn’t feel like I could nail the second verse. There were like 5 or 6 different second verses, but the one that ended up in the final version is the first one I wrote. Usually the first version is what it should be, but not always (see Silver Jubilee).

Ricky and I were getting down to the wire with having to finish the album. I felt one day, early in the morning, that I was going to finish Phoebe. I sat down in the afternoon and tried and it didn’t happen. Whatever. But I really just felt like I was gonna finish it. That night I decided to look up a random Greta Gerwig interview from Frances Ha era. A random one I had never seen before. I started watching and it was like a dream- she was somehow, someway talking about similar subject matter to the song. I watched the interview for 2 minutes and then finished the song just writing it on my laptop, no guitar. Then I picked up the guitar and put it to music.

I was so lit out of my mind to finally show the finished version to Ricky. We had a very easy breezy beautiful time arranging the instrumental. He played beautiful 12 string guitar on it. His guitar performance on this song is as meaningful as the lyrics I wrote.

With Phoebe, I really let my writer self run wild. I’m always considering catchiness when I’m writing music, but on this one I just let myself change the lyrics in every single verse, pre, etc.

I have struggled my whole life to feel beautiful, but have always felt beautiful on the inside. But I am beautiful on the outside too. I’m proud of this song.

Silver Jubilee.rtf

This is the last song I wrote for the album.

When I played Ricky Phoebe, he said that there was no way it couldn’t be the last song on the album. But I explained to him that my favorite thing about Ariana Grande’s “thank u next” is that it ends with break up with your girlfriend, I’m bored. This gorgeous, deeply personal and confessional album of her career ends with this bloopy boppy banger that means essentially nothing.

I wanted to write a closer. And I wanted to write a party song.

Right after I signed my deal, I went to Philly for my cousin Savannah’s 25th birthday party. October 2024. She was calling it The Silver Jubilee, which is defined as the 25th anniversary of an important event. The dress code was head to toe silver. When Savannah and Emma picked me up from the airport, I said, I have one more song to write for the album and if this weekend is great enough, I’ll write it about it.

It ended up being one of the best weekends of my life. There’s this bar called The Drinkers Pub that we went to two nights in a row. It’s the best bar I’ve ever been to. My sister was there. So many of my cousins. Savannah’s friends. It was glorious. From start to finish, glory. It was also Halloween weekend, so there were just characters everywhere. I met a man from Spain. I won’t go into the details.

When I got back to LA, Ricky and I made the beat (third times the charm again) and I took it home and began. This song took me a long time to write. Many hours. I was just alone in my house in pajamas trying to channel a party and found it hard at times. I didn’t want to be too specific about the real life Silver Jubilee weekend, I wanted it to be anthemic.

Imma tell my sister she’s perfect is one of my favorite lines. I was just drunk the whole weekend, crying to Ella about how pretty she was.

I kind of killed myself over this song, but it was only right. 8 or so months of manic writing, my head permanently in the clouds, the best 8 months of my life writing these songs. And it was only fair that the last one almost took me out.

I wanted to give my cousins and my sister a song for us. I wanted the album to end like a party. It was a party. Best party of my whole life.

The last thing you hear in the song is Ricky and I cheering in a lackluster way. Because it’s funny

In all of this- the whole of this experience- I got two gifts. The gift of songwriting and the gift of Matt. I’m so grateful to have done this all with him.

Best year of my life.